A tallit-and-tefillin-wearing woman in a traditional Conservative synagogue?! An unorthodox—and non-orthodox—perspective on Jews and Judaism from a perpetual misfit. This blog, welcoming the entire Jewish community, is dedicated to those who take Judaism seriously, but not necessarily literally.
Elf continued the discussion here. Here's a rather stunning quote: "I've rarely met a Conservative rabbi or educated layperson who didn't regard the Conservative movement with positive contempt. Maybe there really is something wrong with this picture."
posted by Shira Salamone at 12:37 PM
Once upon a time, I belonged to a left-wing egalitarian Conservative synagogue, where I was one of a number of women who wore a tallit—and one of the few members who used an Orthodox prayer book (adding the Mothers, of course). Having moved since then, I now belong to a right-wing traditional Conservative synagogue, where I’m almost always the only woman wearing a tallit—and one of the few members who adds the Mothers. I seem destined to be forever . . . on the fringe.
2 Comments:
The situation is kind of sad... However, on the ground, Conservative Judaism is generally uncommitted Jews that like the service that's familiar to them, because it's basically the traditional Nusach Ashkenaz service... ("traditional" European Jewish service), with a few parts removed and some parts read in English. The parts removed aren't really core to the service, and they are replaced with announcements from the Synagogue leadership (that part is not welcome).
However, if two generations ago you grew up quasi-Orthodox, meaning you went to the neighborhood Shul, not the "new fangled Reform thingy" as it would have looked to the masses of Jewish immigrants that arrived here between WWI and post-WWII, you went to an Orthodox Shul, maybe learned a little with the Rabbi, probably kept a somewhat Kosher home, and didn't tell people that you didn't keep Shabbat... because in the old country, that's how the masses were.
Two generations ago, that was the core of Orthodoxy. Between Kiruv, moving financially up-market, and YU getting it's act together, Jews found not working Saturdays more doable over time, which permitted pretending to keep Shabbat easier.
A friend of mine (now observant), grew up quasi-observant... his parents kept Shabbat, unless they had something better to do. They liked it sometimes, other times, they wanted to go out of town. There are lots of quirks in whatever community people were in.
The thing is, if he didn't marry a woman who wanted to become more observant, he'd have probably found a home in a Conservative Shul... it would be familiar "enough" when he showed up.
Conservative Judaism appeals to people with a more traditional background, that don't want the trappings of Orthodoxy, because today's Orthodoxy is less tolerant of people that don't keep the Mitzvot but come to the Shul. So those quasi-Orthodox people (theologically Orthodox, believe that Orthodoxy is true Judaism, but in practice, aren't observant) are less likely to be comfortable driving to the Orthodox Shul as their parents were.
Net effect, they go to a Conservative that SEEMS kind of Jewish, or Chabad, that's Torah observant, but doesn't SEEM the kind of Jewish that they grew up with.
The problem is that the kids who grew up in that "well it seems Jewish" synagogue, like your son or my wife, that were the only ones going to Shabbat services, freaking HATED it. The problem is, in non-Frum Judaism*, each generation gets less observant, because unless you VALUE Judaism, it doesn't get transmitted to the next generation, and you only transfer some percentage of what you knew... and Hebrew school is absolutely worthless educationally.
* I exclude the Frum Conservative/Reform Jews... the ones in their movements believing in it. If you truly believe that Conservative Judaism's positions are intellectually strongest, a view I am VERY sympathetic to, and often share, you'll transmit that to your kids... but those kids will either see the hypocrisy and lose interest, OR become Frum, because they won't want the struggles that you had.
The true Reform Jews have a nice home in NYC, but everywhere else are MASSIVELY outnumbered by the "I guess I'm Reform" or "I'm Reform because my Dad id Reform, my mom is Catholic" Jews at the Reform synagogue.
"Conservative Judaism appeals to people with a more traditional background, that don't want the trappings of Orthodoxy, because today's Orthodoxy is less tolerant of people that don't keep the Mitzvot but come to the Shul. So those quasi-Orthodox people (theologically Orthodox, believe that Orthodoxy is true Judaism, but in practice, aren't observant) are less likely to be comfortable driving to the Orthodox Shul as their parents were." Oh, brother, does that ever sound like our local Conservative synagogue! After years of protesting that women's full participation is against halachah and/or "Reform" (despite the fact that the Conservative Movement has been ordained women for roughly 2 decades), some of our members have finally conceded that they object to egalitarian traditional services just because it's not what they grew up with. They're just Orthodox folks at heart who aren't observant.
"The problem is that the kids who grew up in that "well it seems Jewish" synagogue, like your son or my wife, that were the only ones going to Shabbat services, freaking HATED it. The problem is, in non-Frum Judaism*, each generation gets less observant, because unless you VALUE Judaism, it doesn't get transmitted to the next generation, and you only transfer some percentage of what you knew... and Hebrew school is absolutely worthless educationally."
Hebrew School isn't *totally* worthless. Most Hebrew School kids manage to acquire the ability to read, if not to understand, prayerbook Hebrew, and ofter learn more about Shabbat/Sabbath and holidays than their own parents actually observe. But the lack of enthusiasm for anything but the remotest semblance of Jewish observance among their peers is a killer, in terms of any hope on the parents' part that the kid might actually want to observe any semblance of Judaism tradition as an adult. And this assumes, as you were saying, that the parents themselves give a darn. Those of us who do care end up fighting a losing battle against the relative indifference of those who don't. Any family that puts soccer practice above synagogue attendance shouldn't be surprised when their kid(s) grow up indifferent to Judaism--if the *parents* don't value Jewish practice enough to give it the highest priority, why should their kid(s)?
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